


Hangxiety

by 5mallestviolin



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, New Year's Fluff, Wishing Well Fic, xo/au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28439514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5mallestviolin/pseuds/5mallestviolin
Summary: It's New Year's Eve 2005.After a poker game,  Duncan, Logan, Weevil and Dick go to Vegas...It's the VM / Hangover xo you never knew you wantedPrompted by a VM Fic Club Wishing Well Prompt from The-Scarlet-Finch.  Thankyou for this amazing idea.Disclaimer: The VM characters aren't mine.  The paraphrased dialogue is not mine.  Any elements from 'The Hangover' concept are not mine.  It's just a bit of fun.
Relationships: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars
Comments: 41
Kudos: 54
Collections: Lovecember Holiday Edition





	1. The Hangover

**Author's Note:**

> Forget about canon, timelines and logic.
> 
> This goes all kinds of off-canon. It's set mid season 2 around 'One Angry Veronica' but Meg doesn't die, Weevil and Logan realise earlier that someone is trying to frame Logan and take over the PCHers from Weevil and Wallace comes back from Chicago before New Years Eve. Loosely based on "The Hangover" movie.
> 
> Thankyou to my beta, Aurora2020, for making this better. You always do.

8am, Saturday December 31, 2005  
Caesars Palace, Las Vegas

Logan woke slowly to the sound of a phone buzzing beside his ear. He reached to grab it and groaned as his head exploded in pain. “Hello,” he said into the phone.

“Mr Kane,” an agitated male voice was on the other end.

“Wrong number,” he grunted and hung up.

The phone rang again, “Mr Kane, this is reception.”

“I’m not Mr Kane.”

“Could we please speak with Mr Kane?”

“Ah, he’s not in this room,” said Logan. “Try the other line.”

“No one is answering. The room is checked out to Mr Kane.”

Awareness started creeping into Logan’s brain, gradually beating out the sledgehammer that had taken up residence. Poker game, Duncan’s house, helicopter, Vegas. “He’s probably asleep. Call back later,” he said, and hung up again.

The phone rang again. “Fuck,” he said, but answered again, “What?”

“I’m sorry, sir, but we need to speak with Mr Kane. There is an urgent situation in your suite.”

“What situation?”

“Security footage shows a guest returning to the suite with an animal.”

“So?” Logan’s head was pounding and he thought,  _ I don’t want to deal with this bullshit. What the hell does it matter anyway _ ?

“There is no footage of it leaving the suite, sir,” replied the hotel clerk, starting to sound snippy.

“So what, do we need to arrange a pet bond or something? Just charge it to the suite,” growled Logan.

“It’s a tiger, sir.”

“What?” Logan shouted down the phone and dropped the handset.

***

Weevil awoke as a wet, rough tongue licked up the side of his face. “Baby,” he said, voice slurred and raspy, “not now.” 

The tongue licked him again and he cracked his eyes open as he registered his arm draped around the neck of someone with a soft, plush fur coat. Looking about, his head pounding, he turned to the side and stared, deep brown eyes locking with gold as he registered,  _ not someone, something _ , and panic set in. He froze, as the lazy, sleepy tiger rose, moving away from his arm before padding around in a circle and settling back down a foot from Weevil and going to sleep.

Petrified, heart in his mouth, Weevil scrambled back, away from the tiger and looked about frantically for an escape.  _ A door, a window, a fucking laundry chute would do _ , he thought.

Spotting a door, he opened it and flung himself through it, closing it hard behind him.

***

Logan pulled on his discarded pants before heading over to cautiously open the bedroom door, looking out into the living room of the plush hotel suite in time to see Weevil throwing himself out of a barely opened door on the other side of the suite.

“There’s an effing tiger in there!”

Scrambling to remember why Weevil was there at all, Logan feigned nonchalance, “So the hotel told me. Any idea why?”

Weevil looked at him as if he was nuts. “No!”

A groan from the couch distracted them, “Fuck, my ass hurts.”

Logan and Weevil both looked over, “What?” they exclaimed simultaneously.

Dick was lying on the couch, clutching what looked like a stuffed dog.

“Cute accessory, Casablancas,” said Weevil. “Do you have a binky too?”

“See, I would have expected strippers and sex toys. This,” Logan paused, “is unexpected.”

“Oh fuck off, the both of you,” replied Dick.

Weevil had been looking at the dog in Dick’s clutches, “Dick.”

“What?” replied Dick, now irritated.

“I think that’s a real dog.”

“What the fuck, man?”

“Seriously, I think that’s a real dog.”

“You’re joking.”

Logan looked at the dog, “I think he's right.”

Dick looked down at the dog in his arms, and realized it was actually a real dog, albeit stuffed. He screamed and tossed it at Logan. Logan caught it by instinct and threw it back to him. Dick caught it awkwardly and the dog’s tail fell off. Dick shrieked again and dropped it on the floor, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Calm down, you douche,” said Weevil. “Pretty sure it’s already dead.”

“I need the fucking bathroom,” said Dick, covering his embarrassment, and headed for the door Weevil had just come through.

“Not there,” said Logan. “There’s a tiger in there.”

“Whatever,” replied Dick. “I’ll use the Donut’s,” and spun around to head for the second bedroom. As he walked inside, he noticed Duncan wasn’t there. “Boring Beauty isn’t here,” he called out before heading for the ensuite.

Logan walked into Duncan’s bedroom behind Dick and realized that the bed hadn’t been slept in. Pulling out his phone from the pocket of his pants, he called Duncan, but as the call went straight to voicemail, he heard a scream from the bathroom.

“What the fuck is this? You have to look at my ass.”

“I don’t want to look at your ass, dude.”

“You have to,” shouted Dick, and hobbled back into the bedroom, pants around his knees. “What the fuck does it say?”

“Have some dignity. Pull your pants up,” said Logan averting his eyes.

“What does the fucking tattoo say?” ground out Dick.

Curious at the mention of a tattoo, Logan looked over and Weevil walked in.

“It says Mac. Capital M, a, c,” Logan spelled out.

“Who the fuck is Mac?” whined Dick.

“It’s your ass, Dick,” replied Logan. “Figure you should know.”

“Does anyone remember what happened last night?” asked Weevil.

Dick shook his head and Logan ran his hand through his hair before shrugging.

“Then I think maybe we should head down, get some breakfast and see if we can figure out what happened. Why you have a stuffed dog and a tat, and how the everliving fuck we have a tiger in the other bathroom?”

***

9am, December 31   
Caesars Palace Breakfast Buffet   
  


Over coffee and the greasiest plates of food they could find, Logan said, “We were all at the poker game at Duncan’s house.”

***

_  
_ _ 4pm, December 30 _ _  
_ _ Poker game at the Kane House _ _  
  
_

_ “We should go to Vegas! Have some fun, let loose,” said Duncan, holding up his whiskey glass. _

_ “New Year’s Eve in Vegas,” cried Dick. “That sounds like a plan I could get with.” _

_ “Don’t you have, like a girlfriend to spend the Eve with?” said Logan. “Can’t see the ever-trusting Veronica happily sending you off to Vegas. Or is that ‘never-trusting’?” _

_ “Careful now, your bitterness is showing,” said Weevil under his breath. _

_ “The parents are expecting me to head up to Napa to join them again tomorrow morning. But I am not in the mood to spend New Year at some boring party with them. Christmas was bad enough. We can drive to Vegas now, be there late tonight and spend twenty four hours painting the town red.” _

_ “Fuck driving, man. The Casablancas Inc helicopter is still in action. Might as well use it before it gets cut off too,” shouted Dick. “Let’s go to Vegas!” _

_ Duncan looked over at Logan, raised his eyebrows in question. _

_ Logan paused, nodded, then looked over at Weevil, “You in, Weevs?” _

_ “You sure the help is invited along on this trip?” asked Weevil. _

_ “Fuck that,” said Dick. “We all bro’s tonight, on the first ever bro’s Vegas New Year extravaganza.” _

_ “Looks like I’m in, then,” answered Weevil. These fucking rich dudes… Weevil muttered to himself. _

_ *** _

_ A few phone calls later, they headed for the heliport. Logan noticed Duncan checking his phone a lot, messaging. “Everything ok, dude?” he asked. _

_ “Sure, yeah. Just having to line up a few things,” he answered. “Booking a hotel and a car in Vegas. Letting the parents know I won’t be in Napa.” _

_ Logan nodded slowly. Duncan was a smooth enough liar, but not a particularly convincing one to someone who knew his tells. “So Celeste isn’t exactly happy?” _

_ Duncan grimaced, “That would be an understatement.” _

_ *** _

_ On the way to the hotel, Dick said to Duncan, “Pull over. There’s a liquor store. Need to get some supplies in.” _

_ “We can get it at the hotel.” _

_ “Nah, we’re underage. It’s not like the Neptune Grand. They’ll rent us the room, but we won’t be able to order any booze, so stop here and we’ll pick it up now.” _

_ “Alright,” agreed Duncan reluctantly. “You go in. I’ll stay in the car.” _

_ Logan, Weevil and Dick headed into the liquor store as Duncan pulled out his phone and started checking his messages again. As Dick selected Jagermeister, Logan picked up a bottle of scotch and a couple of bottles of Champagne, Weevil grabbed a couple of six packs of beer and said, “What is up with Kane? Does he normally check his phone twenty times an hour?” _

_ Logan answered, “I don’t know. Maybe Veronica has caught wind of him heading here with us and is making his life hell.” _

_ “Well blondie isn’t known for her forgiving nature. Although I would expect to have seen messages from her myself if she knew I was with him.” _

_ “Not me. Pretty sure my number’s been erased from her phone and her memory,” replied Logan. _

_ As they left the store, Weevil murmured, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” _

_ At Caesar’s Palace, Duncan walked in saying, “I reserved two rooms.” _

_ Dick jumped in saying, “I’ll take care of check-in. You two are still seventeen.” _

_ Ten minutes later, Dick came back, handed them each a key card and led the way to the elevators. At the room, Duncan asked, “Which one is the other room?” _

_ Dick replied, “We got a suite, man. Upgrade and I got a free t-shirt.” Inside, beers and Champagne are opened and shots are poured. Dick pulled out a little baggie with two pills from his pocket and said, “Anyone up for some E? We can split them, get a nice little buzz.” _

_ Duncan replied, “Nah,” and Dick turned to face the others. Weevil declined and Logan considered, but also shook his head. _

_ Dick said, “Pussies,” before taking one himself and helping himself to another shot. _

***

9.30am, December 31   
Breakfast Buffet   
  


“Anyone remember what happened after drinks in the suite?” asked Dick. “I don’t remember anything.”

“We went down to the casino, but they wouldn’t let us in this one. Underage and all. I think we headed out to maybe Bellagio’s instead? But it’s all pretty blurry,” said Weevil.

“I think it’s pretty clear what we have to do,” said Logan. “We need to find Duncan, get rid of the tiger, find the owner of Dick’s chihuahua and make a plan for an awesome New Year’s Eve tonight.”

The servers came to clear the table, and Weevil, looking for money for a tip, pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. Looking down at it, he realized it was a parking stub from a lot in downtown Las Vegas. He started digging through his pockets and told the others, “Empty your pockets.”

“Why,” exclaimed Dick.

“I just found a parking stub from a lot here in Vegas. Maybe you guys have some other clues too,” replied Weevil. 

Logan and Dick looked at each other and stuck their hands in their pockets to see what they could find. “Hey, I’ve got a card from a pawnshop, and it has ‘Mike Tyson’ and a phone number on the back,” said Dick.

Logan held up a large folded piece of paper. “I’ve just got this paper. Look, I’m gonna write down all this for us, but I need a pen.” He lifted his left hand to call a waiter and stopped short, looking in shock at the plain gold band on his ring finger. Looking down, he unfolded the piece of paper. “Oh, shit,” he exclaimed, to the chagrin of the elderly women at the adjacent table. “I think I may have gotten married.”

“What?” said Dick.

“Who to?” asked Weevil quickly. 

“I don’t know. I’ve only got half the marriage license,” turning the paper around to face them. He went pale, “Oh god, oh god, what the f...”

Seeing Logan starting to panic, Weevil interrupted. “Why don’t we take this one thing at a time? Let’s head to the pawn shop. Find out what Dick pawned and take it from there.”

***

“Nah, none of you pawned anything,” said the pawnbroker.

“Oh,” said Weevil, disappointed.

“But the dark-haired guy with you, he did.”

“What dark-haired guy? Ooof,” said Dick as Logan elbowed him in the ribs.

“Must have been Duncan,” said Logan quickly. Turning back to the pawnbroker, he said, “Can I ask what he pawned?”

“Sure. Pair of diamond earrings. Nice set. Gave him fifty K,” said the pawnbroker. “Then he bought a pair of wedding rings and asked for directions to the Marriage License Bureau.”

Logan felt sick.  _ Duncan had married Veronica.  _

“Do you reckon Duncan married Ronnie?” said Dick. “So who do you reckon you married?” he carried on, oblivious to Logan’s increasing discomfort. “Maybe you married a stripper? Maybe we took Duncan out for a bachelor party and you ended up...”

“Shut up, Dick!” interrupted Weevil. “We don’t know what happened yet.”

“Hey, check out the store next door,” said Dick. It’s a taxidermist, and there are a bunch of stuffed pets in the window. “Maybe this is where I got the dog? I’m gonna check it out.”

As they entered the store, the owner looked up and exclaimed, “Mr Dick, you are back so soon. Is there something wrong with your little pet?” Dick looked flabbergasted.

Logan addressed the owner. “We’re a little hazy here.”

“Ah,” said the owner. “The Vegas curse.”

“Yeah,” agreed Weevil. “Can I just check, I assume we were here last night, and this guy bought a Chihuahua?”

“Yes,” replied the owner. “He was talking about this girl who had a Chihuahua just like the one in the window. How she was a complete pain in the ass, but the Chihuahua was a sweetheart and he always loved it. Wanted one just like it.”

“I never said Madison was a pain in the ass,” referring defensively to his on/off girlfriend. 

“But she pretty much is,” said Logan.

“Her little dog, though. Coco was kind of cool. One of those purse dogs, but likeable, you know. Madison got rid of her after she peed in her handbag. Poor thing had been cooped up in that bag while Madi got a mani/pedi, but sure, it’s the dog’s fault.” Dick’s phone chimed with an incoming message.

‘ **This is an automated message: Your test results are available for collection at Las Vegas General Hospital. Please ask for Dr Hansen between 10am - 8pm.** ’

Dick looked up in fear and showed the others the message. Logan said, “Well it’s just before 11, so I guess we’re headed for the hospital. 

***

At the hospital, Dr Hansen came out of emergency and ushered them into a small room. “Mr Casablancas, I have referrals to several clinics in LA and San Diego where you can get the tattoo removed. But the real reason I wanted to see you was that the drug screen undertaken came back saying that other than a fairly hefty blood alcohol level, you tested positive for rohypnol.”

“Roofies, Dick,” said Logan. “What the fuck, man. You said it was E.”

“I asked for E. I thought it was E!” Dick turned to Dr Hansen, “You sure it’s not E?”

“Test result is definitely rohypnol,” replied the doctor. The effects are that you may have had a lack of inhibition and memory loss. It doesn’t appear that you have any longer term effects and the level in your blood was not particularly high. It’s likely you didn’t receive a very large dose.”

“Fuck, it was just meant to be E.”

“Where did you get them?” asked Logan.

“The liquor store, yesterday,” Dick replied. “I asked the guy behind the counter where we could get some and he said he had two he could sell me. He was real cool about it and seemed trustworthy. We were just gonna have half each to get the buzz going, but you guys didn’t want any, so I took a whole one. I’ve still got one left.”

“Fuck, Dick,” said Logan. “Just dump it. You don’t want that shit.”

“I can dispose of that safely, if you like, Mr Casablancas?” said the doctor.

“Sure,” said Dick and handed over the baggie with the remaining tablet.

Dr Hansen spoke again, “You left some papers here too,” and handed Weevil a sheet of paper with ‘Madison kiss my butt’ written on it. Addressing Dick, he said, “Apparently that was what you asked the tattoo artist to draw, but you quit early because it hurt too much. As I said earlier, you should be able to get that lasered off, but it will take some time and several sessions and it may hurt more than the original tattooing.”

“Fuck,” said Dick. “Maybe I’ll just find myself some girl called Mac.”

***

Outside the hospital, Logan said, “We’re no closer to finding Duncan, or,” waving his left hand, “how I ended up with this.”

“Why don’t you call Ronnie? She married the dude, she’ll know where he is,” said Dick. “Hell, she’s probably got a tracker implanted in his neck by now.”

Weevil thought,  _ that’s actually a pretty good idea from the blonde idiot _ , but said, “Ah, why don’t we get the car? We’re gonna need to get it back anyway.” He dug the parking stub out of his pocket. “It’s at a parking garage on South Main St.”

“Sounds good,” said Logan, rubbing his neck. “Maybe something was left in it.” 

***

  
  


Logan was feeling sick.

“Woah, that’s a wedding dress, dude,” said Dick.

“Shut up, Dick,” said Weevil. The three of them had retrieved the car keys from the valet parking desk and were currently inspecting the rental SUV.

“You’ve just got to do it, dude. Man up and call the harpy from hell,” said Dick.

“Shut up, Dick!” Weevil turned to Logan, “I don’t think that’s hers.”

“Why not?”

“Look at it again,” said Weevil. “It’s too long. Maybe you should call her?”

“I can’t. I just can’t,” said Logan.

Weevil looked at him and shook his head. “I’ll do it,” and took out his phone to call Veronica.

***

Noon, December 31   
Flamingo Hotel, Vegas

The sound of her phone ringing dragged Veronica to consciousness. Her head was pounding, her mouth dry and she felt sick. She heard snoring and looked over to see a head of black curly hair on a second twin bed in the room and realized it was Wallace. Her phone kept ringing and looking at it she saw it was Weevil.

She ignored it.

Stumbling to the bathroom, she tried to recall the previous night.  _ So what exactly happened after we got the precious cargo to Vegas? What was I thinking with that wedding?  _

She stared at the sink wishing for a toothbrush, lifted up her left hand to finger brush her teeth and saw a wedding ring on her ring finger. Terrified, she raced back to her bag in the bedroom and frantically went through her bag but couldn't find any evidence.

“No no no no NO NO NO,” she exclaimed, jerking Wallace awake. “What did I do? I didn’t marry Duncan, did I?” she asked.

“What! No way,” replied Wallace. “He married Meg, you know, the girl having his baby? And then you decided to go on the bender of all benders.”

“What?” said Veronica.

***

_ December 27 _ _  
_ _ Neptune, California _

_ She was resolute, she was certain, she had prepared. Sitting in her car outside the Neptune Grand, she watched to see when, if, Logan headed out surfing. She had things she needed to say but preferred not to have an audience and as Duncan had returned from spending Christmas in Napa with his parents the previous day; she wanted this over, done and dusted as soon as possible. _

_ For the first time ever, she was grateful Logan’s car was an obnoxious yellow which made it easy to spot coming out of The Grand parking lot. Minutes later she headed up to the suite he shared with her boyfriend. _

_ Without prevarication, she launched into her prepared spiel. “I don’t think we can be together. You need to be thinking about Meg. You need to look after Meg and your baby.” _

_ Taken aback, Duncan exclaimed, “What?” _

_ “You need to concentrate on Meg. On your baby. Not me,” she repeated. _

_ “But you and I are meant to be together. It has nothing to do with Meg.” _

_ “Duncan, Meg is having a baby.  _ _ Your _ _ baby. That has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you and you have to look after her.” _

_ “But you and me, we are the true love story. Our true love story never has an ending, remember,” he sounded plaintive. _

_ “But were we really a love story, Duncan?” she said. “Lilly was our common link. Lilly was the one who wanted us to be together, kept wanting us to be sisters. I think after everything else I wanted to try to go back to being that girl, from before. But I can’t. I’m not her. I’m not sure I ever was. Think about it, Duncan. You want the illusion, the role I was before. Not the person I am.” _

_ “And what do you want, Veronica? I suppose you want Logan?” he said, a trace of bitterness in his voice. _

_ “I don’t know, Duncan. I want him back as my friend, but after last summer, I don’t even know if he would speak to me without sarcasm or anger,” she replied. “Look, this is a burner phone,” she said, changing the subject and handing him a cell phone. “I gave one to Meg yesterday, so her parents don’t know. We both saw what they were capable of, so you need to help her to look after that baby. You have to, Duncan.” _

***

_ December 30 _ _  
_ _ Neptune, California _

_ “Hey Supafly, you interested in going to a party?” asked Wallace. _

_ “Tomorrow, for New Year’s Eve?” _

_ “Nah. More like tonight?” _

_ “A New Year’s Eve, Eve party. How presumptuous?” she replied. _

_ “I don’t even know what that means. Look, a bunch of the basketball team are heading to a party tonight, and since I am working tomorrow, I thought I’d head along, get my party on tonight,” said Wallace. _

_ “I don’t know Wallace. I was just wanting to hang out tonight,” she replied. _

_ “Come on. It’s my job as your friend to make sure you aren’t all morose and miserable after breaking up with Duncan, and nothing says getting over a breakup like partying with your BFF,” he stated. “Come on Veronica. You might even enjoy it.” _

_ She looked at him bemused. _

_ “Okay, I might enjoy it and you might tolerate it,” he amended. _

_ Thinking it may at least distract her from her recent thoughts, which had distressingly focussed more on Duncan’s comments about who she really wanted rather Duncan himself, she answered, “Alright. I’ll go.” _

_ “Yes!” said Wallace, triumphantly. “Did I say it was also a costume party?” he mentioned, sheepishly. The new exchange student on the team is a Brit and suggested a ‘Tarts and Vicars’ theme, and I’ve already got my costume,” attaching a clerical collar to his shirt. _

_ “You have got to be kidding me,” she replied, rolling her eyes. Of course, only a guy would think of a party theme where ALL the girls are dressed as sluts.  _

_ “Come on Veronica. I know you’ve got costumes,” he answered. _

_ “Okay. If it was anyone other than you asking,’ she said. “So what do you suggest? Slutty schoolgirl or slutty co-ed?” Her phone rang and seeing the number she answered, “Meg?” _

_ “Veronica, I need your help and I don’t know who else I can call,” Meg said, sounding distressed, near panic. _

_ “Meg. What’s wrong?” _

_ “I know this is a really hard thing to ask you, but I need someone to drive me to Vegas,” she answered. She explained that Duncan had called her and they had hatched a plan. They were going to get married in Vegas so her parents couldn’t take the baby away or give it up for adoption. Duncan was making an excuse to head up there and she was going to meet him. “We’re travelling separately so my parents don’t suspect anything, but Lizzie was supposed to take me out from the hospital and drive but she got into trouble at home. She’s been grounded and they’ve taken her car keys away. I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you drive me to Vegas? You’re the only person I trust who knows the truth.” _

_ “Aren’t you still underage? I know Duncan is,” answered Veronica. _

_ “Today is my eighteenth birthday, and Duncan is an emancipated minor, so the wedding will be valid. Once we’re married, our parents won’t be able to force us into the adoption,” said Meg. “Please Veronica, I know it’s awkward, but you’re the only person I can ask.” _

_ Veronica closed her eyes, took a deep breath and answered, “What time do you need me?” _

_ *** _

_ After she finished talking to Meg, Veronica turned to Wallace to say, “Change of plan for me. But what do you say to a trip to Vegas instead?” _

_ “Huh?” said Wallace. _

_ “Meg has asked me to drive her to Vegas. She is pregnant and she and Duncan are getting married to protect the baby,” said Veronica. _

_ “And she wants you to drive her to Vegas,” said Wallace. “Isn’t that a little awkward?” _

_ “That’s why I want you to come too,” answered Veronica. “Meg’s parents are very strictly religious, and they want Meg to give up her baby for adoption to a religious group. Her sister was supposed to take her, but can’t now and she needs help. And as much as I want to help her, it’s going to be tough driving my ex-boyfriend’s pregnant ex-girlfriend to Vegas to get married. So pleeeeeease Wallace?” _

_ Wallace looked at her and said, “I’ve always wanted to see Vegas...” _

***

December 31   
Wallace and Veronica’s hotel room, Vegas

“Can you remind me what happened when we got here?”

“Here as in the hotel? I guess we just slept. I don’t really remember,” said Wallace.

“Not the hotel,” she amended. “Vegas. What happened when we got to Vegas with Meg? I’ve got bits and pieces but it’s all blurry.”

“Phew, girl, you really did go on a bender,” he answered. “We met up with Duncan and the others at the Clark County Marriage Bureau for them to get the license.”

“The others?” she questioned.

“Ah, he had Logan and Dick and Weevil with him.”

“What? Why?” she asked.

“I dunno,” answered Wallace. “But then we headed to some Wedding Chapel.  _ The Chapel of the Flowers _ , I think. And they got married.” He looked a little awkward, but said, “You were her Maid of Honor. Logan was the Best Man.”

“Okay,” she said, still clearly not remembering. “What happened then?”

“We all headed to a restaurant and Dick started ordering cocktails. Lots of cocktails,” he said. “I don’t remember much after the flaming Sambucas.”

“Flaming Sambucas?” she asked.

“Yeah,” answered Wallace. “I really don’t feel so good today.”

Veronica realized she didn’t even remember them. “Do you think we were drugged?” 

“No,” said Wallace. “I’m fairly sure it was just an excess of pretty sweet drinks, some of which had umbrellas.”

Veronica’s phone rings again and when she glances at the screen, she answers, “Weevil.”

“Hey V, where are you right now?”

“Vegas, just like you, I believe.”

“You are?” he asked, thinking  _ oh, shit _ .

“Yes.”

“Okay,” he said. “Look, I came up here after a poker game with Logan, Dick and Duncan.”

“Uh huh,” she said. “That’s some interesting company you’re keeping.”

“Yeah, kind of a re-enactment of the poker game last year.”

“Right. Last I saw, I thought you and Logan were intent on destroying one another.”

“We’ve come to a bit of an understanding. We worked out we’ve got a common enemy.”

“I’m not even going to ask. But why are you calling me?”

“Is Duncan with you?”

“What? Don’t you remember?”

“No, alright,” he answered, a little defensively. “We drank a lot and none of us remember much, but we’ve lost Duncan. Do you know where he is?”

“I’m not surprised you’ve lost Duncan,” she answered. “Duncan got married.”

“You married Duncan?” he asked apprehensively as Logan stiffened next to him.

“No! Not me, Duncan married Meg last night,” she answered. “I guess Duncan and Meg got themselves a room somewhere.”

“Duncan and Meg?” Weevil asked, mostly for Logan’s benefit.

“Yes. Duncan and Meg, who is pregnant with his child,” she repeated.

“Oh, okay.” He went quiet for a moment before he added, “Do you know where we might have gotten a tiger?”

“A what?”

“A tiger.”

“No!”

“V, you’ve gotta help us find where we got the tiger from,” he pleaded.

“No I don’t.”

“Please....”

“Alright. We’ll meet you in the coffee shop in the lobby of the,” she glanced at the hotel stationary, “Flamingo Hotel.”

***

“He knows how to play you,” said Wallace as they headed out of the hotel room to meet the others.

“What? Who?” said Veronica.

“Weevil,” replied Wallace.

“He does not,” she answered. “I’m just curious about the tiger.”

“Exactly,” said Wallace with a smile. “He knows that Veronica Mars can’t resist a mystery.”

“Oh shut up,” she said, but without any sting in the words, knowing he was right. “Ah, can you not mention this to them?” she said waving her left hand with the ring on it in the air.

“Sure Veronica. You can count on me,” he replied.

***

“Just don’t mention the wedding license,” said Logan as they ordered coffee before Veronica and Wallace joined them.

“Okay,” replied Weevil.

“Sure, man. You don’t want Ronnie thinking you ran off and married some strange woman. I get it,” said Dick.

“Shut up, Dick!” they both said quickly.

“A sentiment I can wholeheartedly support,” said Veronica as she approached, “at all times.”

“Hi V,” said Weevil. “Thanks for coming.”

Dick piped up again, “So Duncan married Meg last night?”

“Yes, Dick. And you were there,” she replied.

“Wow, that must have hurt,” he said, unable to resist a dig.

“I’m so cut up about it, I drove Meg here for the wedding,” she responded quickly.

Weevil cut in, keen to prevent a slanging match that might have Veronica walk away, “So the wedding dress in the car?”

“Megs,” she replied, succinctly.

“Why did they get married?” asked Logan.

Veronica turned to face him and answered, “They needed to protect the baby. Meg’s parents are trying to force her to give the baby up for adoption with an ultra religious group. All spare-the-rod, spoil-the-child, fire and brimstone. Duncan’s parents didn’t want to help because they believe it will ruin their political aspirations for him. They planned this because Meg’s eighteenth birthday was yesterday so she didn’t have to get permission.”

“Isn’t Duncan still underage?” asked Dick. 

Without even glancing at him, eyes still trained on Logan, she replied, “He’s an emancipated minor.” 

Logan thought,  _ oh hell, so am I _ .

At that moment Veronica’s phone buzzed with an incoming text. 

**MM: ‘Can you return the dress to the wedding chapel? It’s rented and I have to get it back to them before noon.’**

Weevil said to Logan under his breath, “See, told you it wasn’t hers.”

Veronica replied, ‘ **Sure, but can you remind me. It was the Chapel of the Flowers?** ’

‘ **Yes. The dress is in the rental car. One of the guys has the ticket for the valet.** ’

“So who’s got the ticket for valet?” she asked.

***

December 31   
Chapel of the Flowers

“You got it back just in time. Dresses go to the cleaners in fifteen minutes. After that, we gotta charge extra,” said the receptionist at the Wedding Chapel. Handing Veronica a hundred dollar bill, she said “Here’s your deposit back. You want to collect your photographs now? They’re all ready.”

“Sure,” said Veronica.

The receptionist handed her two packages, “They’re already paid for, and congratulations.”

Veronica opened the first envelope to make sure the photographs were of Duncan and Meg. Curious, she opened the second envelope and shook out a second batch of photographs and her mouth dropped open as she gasped.

There in glorious technicolor were a half dozen shots of Logan and Veronica.

Wallace was standing above them, Weevil was next to Veronica. Dick was standing next to Logan holding onto a tiger on a leash. Logan and Veronica were kissing passionately.

“Oh, shit!” said Logan

“Oh, no!” said Veronica. 

Dick said, “Hey look, Ronnie’s wearing a ring just like Logan. And I got the tiger.”

The receptionist looked around. “Oh, yeah. You might want to give Mike Tyson back his tiger.”


	2. The Cure

Logan pulled out the torn in half wedding license with his name on it and looked at Veronica. “Ah, it looks like we got married.”

“We cannot be married,” stated Veronica.

“Looks like we kind of are,” answered Logan “Do you have the other half of the license?”

“No!”

“Can you just have a look?” he asked.

“I don’t have it, Logan,” she retorted. When he started to speak again, she opened her bag to show him.

Sensing an argument about to flare, Weevil remembered the sheet of paper Dick had been given by the doctor and unfolded it. “Ah, I think this might be what you are looking for.”

He handed them the other half of the license with Veronica’s name on it. Logan and Veronica looked at each other in horror.

Weevil and Wallace looked at them, then at each other. “Ah, why don’t we figure out how to sort out Tyson’s tiger and getting back to Neptune? Give the two of you some space to figure some stuff out.” said Wallace.

Dick piped up, “Just get a divorce. Start early, it was bound to happen some time, dude.”

Weevil slapped Dick across the back of the head and Wallace said “Shut up, Dick!”

***

2pm December 31   
Denny’s opposite the Chapel of the Flowers.

“Hold on,” said Veronica. “You’re only seventeen. It can’t be legal, even in Vegas.”

“Emancipated minor,” replied Logan, pointing at himself. “Just like Duncan.”

“Then I guess we need to get a divorce, or maybe an annulment,” said Veronica.

“An annulment sounds good,” replied Logan. “We need a lawyer. Do you have a lawyer?”

Veronica looked at him in askance, “You’re joking aren’t you? Poor people don’t have lawyers.”

“What about Cliff?” said Logan

“Well, sure,” she replied. “If we want my dad to find out.”

“Oh, shit. I didn’t think about your dad.”

They both look at each other in horror again.

“What about the lawyer who dealt with your emancipation?” suggested Veronica.

“Yeah, probably the best. Or, we might be able to find a lawyer in Vegas to do it. They must have to do this all the time,” said Logan.

“Either way,” replied Veronica. “Just soon.”

“Do you remember anything about it?” asked Logan, curiously.

“No. Too many drinks. After the wedding, that is, Duncan and Meg’s wedding, Wallace said Dick was ordering lots of cocktails at the restaurant. Wallace remembers flaming Sambucas. I don’t even remember much more than the wedding,” she said ruefully.

“You are kind of tiny, Veronica.”

“But you’re not. How come you don’t remember?” she asked.

Logan sighed. “We were pretty buzzed when we got here. Then we had a few beers, a few bottles of Champagne, scotch and Jagermeister shots. And that was before we left the suite. The whole night is a kind of a blur.”

“You didn’t seem that drunk at the chapel. When Duncan married Meg,” she said. “I remember that.” 

“I was,” he said. “Years of practice. I pretty much stay upright until I keel over. Why did you get drunk?” he asked in return. 

“It was weird, you know. Driving Meg up here to marry Duncan,” she said. “I mean I broke up with him and all and told him to face up to the responsibility, but it was kind of surreal. What about you? Why were you so drunk?”

“You broke up with Duncan?” he asked. “When?”

“Right after he got back from Napa. You didn’t know?” she replied.

“He didn’t say anything. He’s been out a lot this week, so I wondered why he was so hot to have the poker game last night. And then he didn’t say who he was marrying until Meg turned up.” He looked up into her eyes, “I kind of thought Duncan was planning to marry you. I thought I was going to need to be drunk to get through that.”

“Oh,” she said.

“Dick got drugged. He bought a couple of E’s from a guy at a liquor store. The rest of us didn’t want any, but he took one. Turns out, it wasn’t E, it was rohypnol.”

Veronica looked dumbfounded. “Rohypnol?”

“Yeah. He’s now got a tiger, a taxidermied Chihuahua and half a tattoo.”

“Half a tattoo?”

“He chickened out after two and a half letters,” explained Logan.

“Huh?”

“He wanted to get ‘Madison is a bitch,’ tattooed on his ass.”

“And?” she said.

“He stopped after getting ‘M, a, and half the d. Now he has to get it lasered off.”

“Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.”

“Thought you might think that,” he replied. 

“So what do we do now?” she asked.

“Right now, I think maybe something to eat, and then find a lawyer,” he replied.

“On a Saturday, on New Year’s Eve?” queried Veronica.

“This is Vegas,” said Logan. “You could probably find a lawyer on Christmas Day at two in the morning.”

***

3pm, December 31   
Law offices

“Six weeks? What do you mean it takes six weeks?” asked Veronica.

The lawyer replied, “Up to six weeks. Probably between one and three. I’m sorry Ms Mars, but that is what it will take, depending on the judge. It’s the holidays and there is a backlog.”

Logan placed his hand on top of Veronica’s, “It’s okay. We can do this. What else do we have to do?”

“We can take care of all the paperwork and the filing,” said the lawyer. “It is essential that the two of you are not living together.”

“Ah, no,” replied Logan. 

“No,” squeaked Veronica.

“I’ll need addresses for paperwork,” said the lawyer.

“It might be better if it all comes to my address,” said Logan smoothly, thinking of Keith Mars.

“That would be the best idea,” agreed Veronica.

“So you are living together?” asked the lawyer.

“No!” said Veronica

“No!” echoed Logan.

“It’s just, we don’t want my dad to see any of this,” said Veronica at the lawyer’s look.

“Ah,” said the lawyer, understanding. “Well we can send it all via Mr Echolls.”

“We need this to be handled with complete discretion,” said Logan.

“Of course, Mr Echolls.” 

“Can we keep this off the public record?” asked Veronica. “Completely?”

“You want the record of the marriage and the annulment sealed?” asked the lawyer.

“Yes,” replied Veronica.

“Most judges will, although you may need to appear in person to explain your reasoning.”

“We are both going to be called to testify at a trial in the new year. I don’t want the defendant's lawyer to be able to use this to discredit us,” said Veronica.

“That sounds reasonable. It will cost extra. However first, we need to establish grounds.” said the lawyer.

“Grounds?” asked Logan.

“There need to be specific grounds for an annulment.”

“We were drunk,” said Veronica bluntly.

“Very drunk,” agreed Logan.

“That’s not actually grounds on its own,” said the lawyer smoothly. “Were you incapacitated? Memory loss?”

“Yes,” they replied together.

“We can’t remember anything,” said Veronica.

“Anything at all,” added Logan.

“So how do you know you are married?” asked the lawyer.

They each held up their left hands, displayed their wedding rings. Veronica dug into her messenger bag, and pulled out the two halves of the wedding license and the photographs from the wedding chapel and handed them to the lawyer.

“That seems fairly conclusive, but I will need to establish that the marriage actually took place,” said the lawyer. “Assuming it did, if you can fill in the paperwork today, I can file as soon as the courts open next week.”

“Thank you,” replied Veronica. “Let’s get that paperwork done, then.”

***

They sat side by side in a spare room in the law firm’s office, filling out forms.

“Could you ask Dick to make sure Wallace gets back to Neptune? He drove up with me because I didn’t want to do that trip alone with Meg, but he’s supposed to work tonight, and I don’t think we’ll be ready to leave on time,” said Veronica.

“Sure. I’ll do that now,” he said and fired off a text to Dick. He received a response quickly. “Yeah. He said they’re already on their way back.”

“Good, thank you,” she replied. “Did they get the tiger sorted out?”

“Yeah. Apparently Mike Tyson is a friend of Dick’s dad. With Dick’s already admittedly poor judgement being further impaired, he decided he wanted a tiger in the wedding and Mike agreed. He just called the number we found on the business card and Mike’s tiger handler came and collected it.”

“Okay. I’m not even sure how that could have happened? Or what could have possessed Dick to want a tiger? But I’m glad it’s gone.”

“Yeah,” replied Logan, shaking his head. 

“I guess that just leaves this mess we’ve found ourselves in,” said Veronica. 

“You don’t blame me?” asked Logan.

“Why would I blame you? We were both drunk, both foolish. Now we both have to fix the mess,” she said.

“Do you think it’s just a mess?”

“What else would you call it, Logan?”

“I don’t know, Veronica. Yesterday I was pretty sure you didn’t want to ever speak to me again. This morning I woke up married to you. I don’t think either of us would have done that on a whim. Just because we were bored, or drunk.”

“You think I’m harboring some secret attraction to you and my drunken subconscious just threw caution to the wind to marry you?” she said. “You don’t think that’s a bit far-fetched?”

“When you put it that way, not so much,” he answered. “But I think there is something still between us. That you do still care for me, at least a little and I know I’m still carrying a torch for you.”

“Oh,” she said contemplatively.

“You know, I always thought our relationship would be epic, you know? Spanning years, continents, bloodshed. Epic.”

“That sounds a little extreme, don’t you think? I’m not sure relationships are meant to be that hard.”

“No one ever writes songs about the ones that come easy.”

“Do you think we, you know,” Veronica looked awkward, embarrassed.

“Do I think we had sex?” Logan interpreted.

She nodded.

“No. I don’t think we did. Um, I had way too much to drink for, you know, things to work properly and I think we would have woken up together,” answered Logan. “What about you? Does it feel like you had sex with me?” His eyes drifted down her body.

Suddenly realizing what he meant, she replied, “No. That’s good then. I don’t want sex to be something I don’t remember.”

He looked back up and could see the pain in her eyes and remembered her experience in sophomore year. “Veronica, I would never do that. Not without your consent.”

“I know that Logan. It just frightens me,” she answered.

“Well, rest assured. If we ever have sex, and I dearly hope that becomes a  _ when _ , I want to remember it. I want you to remember it and I want you to want me as much as I want you,” he declared.

“Oh,” she said simply. “Wow.”

Logan sat there in silence, worried now he had said too much, blown his chance.

“I didn’t want to break up with you last summer,” she said. “I just wanted you to stop following the destructive path you were on. But then you broke the lamp and my dad threw you out and it just seemed to fall apart.”

“I’m sorry about last summer. If I could go back and do things differently, I would. I should have tried to see your point of view. I should have fought for you. But I was so wrapped up in my own world that I couldn’t see yours,” he said.

“Do you think we got married because subconsciously we want to be together?”

“I think it’s possible. I’d like to find out. But maybe slower this time. Take the time to become friends again,” he said.

“Talk more, like this. Do things together, like the old days?” she replied.

A smile broke out on his face, “I’d like that. I’d really like that.”

She smiled back, “It sounds pretty good.”

“Veronica,” he said, leaning towards her.

“Uh, huh,” she replied, looking into his eyes.

“Maybe we can do a little of this too,” he said and leaned in to touch his lips to hers.

The kiss was sweet. Light and playful and full of promise. A kiss of friendship. A kiss with hints of future passion. 

And interrupted. The lawyer walked in and cleared her throat and they pulled apart, embarrassed at being caught. “Actions like that would be pretty unlikely to help your petition,” she said.

“Ah, we don’t want the annulment because we hate each other,” said Logan.

“It’s just because we are still barely legal, still at school and we don’t want something we don’t remember,” added Veronica.

“Well, I come bearing good news, then,” said the lawyer.

They looked up expectantly.

“Your marriage is not valid. Your celebrant wasn’t legal.”

“What?” said Logan.

“How?” asked Veronica.

“Apparently you brought your own celebrant to the Wedding Chapel. The young man behind you in the photographs.”

“Wallace?’ exclaimed Logan.

“The Chapel didn’t know his name,” answered the lawyer.

“He was wearing a priest’s costume,” said Veronica, “he was supposed to go to a costume party.”

“I was informed that you insisted on him performing the ceremony.”

“Will he get into any trouble, legally for this? He’s still only seventeen, a minor,” said Veronica.

“The Chapel had decided it was all a high-school prank. They hadn’t filed any paperwork because they didn’t get any evidence of registration as a wedding celebrant from your friend. In fact, the night manager said they tore your license in half before they gave it back to you, to ensure you didn’t try it again last night somewhere else. You were all obviously impaired, and very young. Your friend won’t get into trouble, but he shouldn’t try it again.”

“So does this mean we don’t have to file for an annulment?” asked Veronica.

“No, there is no marriage to annul. There will be, of course, the matter of my fees.”

“Of course,” replied Logan. “That’s not an issue,” he said, “Just charge it to the card I gave you for your retainer.”

“Well good then. You’re free to go.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” confirmed the lawyer.

***

As they left the lawyer’s offices, Veronica said, “I have to get my car and drive back to Neptune. Want to come with me? Share the driving? Maybe talk some more?”

“Sure. I’d like that,” answered Logan.

“That’s good then,” replied Veronica.

Logan stopped on the sidewalk and turned to face her, “One last thing.”

“Uh huh,” murmured Veronica, looking up at him, hope and trepidation in her eyes.

His arms came around her and he lowered his lips to hers. She stepped into his embrace as they kissed, and this kiss wasn’t sweet. It was hungry and it was passionate. His tongue swept across the seam of her lips and she opened them, welcoming the intrusion, welcoming him. Passers by stopped, stared, passed comments like, ‘Go for it’ and ‘Get a room’, but they didn’t notice, didn’t hear, so engrossed in each other they were. Veronica clung to Logan as his arms held her close and they simply kissed, lost in their own world.

When they finally broke apart, Logan took her hand and held it as they walked along the street and murmured just for her to hear, “Maybe not quite so slow, after all.”


End file.
